I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
