i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
MIDGETS
????
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i believe in u and ur pee
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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