the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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