im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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