like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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