I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
