Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
