Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
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