omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
