Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
