TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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