I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
