Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
