How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
