super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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