He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
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