I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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