you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
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