All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I just gift wrapped bread.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
