I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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