woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
