Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
She announced her abortion via fbk
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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