hell yes lets make some ravioli
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
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