I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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