where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
