And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Randomize
