I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Randomize
