so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
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