ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize