I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
