Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
