I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
