...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
