and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
