I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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