We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
