No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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