I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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