Can Purell be used as lube?
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
