FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
