Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I just had sex on a roof
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
