She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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