Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
