I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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