Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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