Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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