So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
