I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
