i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
