i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
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