i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
