I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
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