Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
