So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
sex in a hospital.. check
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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